7 or 8 times

When one is subjected to a colonoscopy, it is extremely important to impress the doctor with your attention to detail.

When he parts the cheeks to insert the "gut-o-scope", a ray of light should shine so brightly from back there that it impresses the doctors and makes everyone applaud in unison.

"Why, I don't believe I've ever had a more pleasant proctological experience!!! It's so, so, CLEAN. And what's this? A new structure we've never seen before?!! She's cleaned it so well that she's revealed some new s--t (no pun intended). A new corridor of sorts. Here, Dr. Latimer. Take a look."

Me and my warped sense of humor. Would you believe me when I say that I thought of this scenario while I was in the shower the morning of my colonoscopy? Not that it's not already clean *lol* but someone was going to be back there and you want to be SURE. Cracked me up so much that I knew I had to share it.