Friday, March 04, 2011

The Wall

We (me and the ladies of my knitting group) refer to it as "hitting the wall".

It usually happens when you're working on a project that constantly presents challenges and one more minor mistake happens.  This "breaks the camel's back" and sends you to a realm of being pissed that you didn't even know existed.  Or, you might just be irritated for other reasons and a minor mistake will make you want to have fist fights with your knitting.  Whatever the case, you can no longer mentally handle even the simple demands of stockinette stitch.  As a result of hitting the wall, your knitting goes into "time-out" until you can bear to look at its stupid face again.

Everyone hits the wall with a different force, and not everyone knows that they're going to even hit the wall until they suddenly find their faces meeting brick. Sometimes it takes something as simple as ONE. DROPPED. STITCH. to send you over the edge. Your knitting confidence can even get smashed to bits and you forget about the fact that you were once a super bad-ass knitter. ("I've knit 10 of those steeked, cable-knit, intarsia, turtleneck sweaters with the kangaroo pocket...I KNOW I can do this.  Maybe this is the end for me.")

My face met brick the other day when I was having difficulty putting ears on a mere baby hat.

I tried to sew the ears on but they didn't look right because my sewing job looked sloppy.  I ripped and tried again.  4 more times.  I finally got one of the ears attached in a way that I was moderately pleased with, but then I had a problem with the position of the ear.  Was it too far to the front?  Should it be more toward the side?

I could feel that I was getting irritated, but I was SO close to having the hat completed that I kept going.  I started to have an inner dialogue with myself.  Ok, it wasn't so inner.  There was no one else there, so I was talking out loud. 

"Hell, I don't know where to put these ears. I need a baby head for proper placement. I need to steal a baby...I just need it for 5 minutes. I swear, I'll put it back."

I then proceeded to make a mental list of all my friends with babies. I have many who are currently incubating babies, but few who have babies in their final form. And one of those completely formed babies doesn't even like me (We used to date. But he started crying whenever he saw me, so I figured that meant "I quit you" in baby speak. Baby Jacob, call me! (On your toy phone. I'll pick up, I swear.))

Void of a real baby head, I removed the ear again to try putting it in a different position.  Then its bound off edge unravelled. 

That did it. 

"Oh,  you want to unravel huh?  I'll give you something to unravel about."  So, I helped it along and pulled out all the stitching since it clearly didn't want to be an ear anymore.  That's why you only see one ear in the pictures.  


I continued to descend into a sea of irrationality until I put that bitch in time-out.  It will get ears one day.

R.I.P. second ear.  You brought that on yourself.

7 comments:

Renee said...

The hat is already cute. Who needs ears? Trust me, the baby you will give it to won't even notice. Unless the baby is the reincarnation of Elizabeth Zimmerman. Then you are screwed.

del said...

Oh dear, bad ear, bad ear! Shame on the ear.

The hat is cute and like Renee says, who needs ears? Especially ones that misbehave.

Jennifer said...

That ear sucks. And Jacob should totally call you. (Now I'm picturing him as the E-Trade baby...)

Lystessa said...

You can shove a hat on my baby anytime you want. :^)

But yeah, those ears look like a PITA. That pattern needs at least a YO or something to mark the ear placement.

(Unless you designed it. In which case it is totally perfect!)

DeeDee said...

Baby Jacob says Hubba Hubba Nikki. He likes you, I swear. Although he's currently cheating on you with his babysitter. She's all about him and he gives her kisses.

fleegle said...

Clearly your problem isn't knitting, it's sewing. Your knitting is just fine, thank you.

I have four baby toys in a bag...in pieces. I didn't hit a wall, I fell into a pit. I hate sewing knitting.

And thanks also for your Percy shawl compliment!

judy said...

Oh, you still make me laugh! Good lord, it's so true...something so little, such as an ear, can send us all over the edge. But seriously, the hat is so cute, don't wait too long to try again!